the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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