I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize