Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
