Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
