So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
