did you get engaged???
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
