Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My bed smells like the plague
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
