she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
