In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
