so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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