you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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