Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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