I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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