im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
