Nicole vs. Life
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
