When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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