So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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