Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
