i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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