physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize