and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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