Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
