she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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