It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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