Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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