I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
jump out the window naked night went bad
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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