You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
