I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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