I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Can I color on your dick again?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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