Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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