Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
