i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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