i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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