D3 body, D1 cock
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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