I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
