It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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