I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
