So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
