Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
