Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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