I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
