Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
