i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
