Will you blow on my dice?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
