I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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