Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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