This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
