i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
