your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
