What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
