i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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