haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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