Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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