Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
