Don't you send me to vm
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize