She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
