Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
