The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
