guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
