My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
