I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
did i walk over a car last night?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
