very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
