that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
