i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
