I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
