Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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