Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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